The Value of …

July 17, 2022 ~ Sunday afternoon (currently 85° inside the house/99° outside … another scorcher!)

My island friends are probably shaking their heads at me … muttering “be careful what you wish for” and all that. I wanted more heat than the current summer temp of 59° in Langley/on the island for my summer. Well, I certainly got it when I moved! Since my arrival we’ve had two days of 100° … 19 days over 90° and a forecast for six more before the month is over. Yeah – be careful what you wish for. This is ridiculous. It’s just too hot! Global warming/climate change. Yep.

The house and yard, with the exception of a large “What do I do with this stuff?” pile in my office, are done. As in DONE. The sod and bark are in. The flowers have been planted – sometimes twice because they fried in this intense sun and heat. I’ve forgotten what it is like to have to WATER! Oops – sorry plants! The house is put together and sans some reorganizing in my office and a few projects here and there (painting the bath/extending the deck) … I’m done. Yay.

I need a nap!

Actually, yesterday I got one. And after waking up from an apparent Rip Van Winkle slumber where I slept through a wind storm (big branch off the front tree) and torrential rain (for an hour), I was thinking about the value of a good nap. Yesterday’s nap wasn’t the best … I woke up upside down on the chaise/face planted nearly 3″ from the box fan/too warm/too groggy. I think I had been drooling. But … apparently, it was needed.

But a “good” nap is one where you slip between cool, soft sheets and there is a lovely little breeze and upon closing your eyes, and before even realizing it, you are transported to dreamland. Those are invaluable nap times. I need one of those (but won’t get one until it cools down).

But that nap got me thinking about value. And not just the value of a good nap.

Yesterday I participated in a grief workshop. Not thinking the content would be too new/thought-provoking, I did it mostly to support my dear island friend who specializes in grief therapy and sudden loss. I didn’t think I was a workshop therapy type of gal. I was wrong. There was a lot of value in that time spent. The workshop was nothing but eye opening (in a good way) and soothing. I learned more than expected and I liked her approach … not one of “get over it and move on” which is often the course of these programs. Along the way we did a grounding exercise with deep breaths and I think that is what transported me to Comaville and my nap after the class. I was so relaxed! I had not “stopped” doing something … packing, unpacking, organizing, purging, loading, unloading, gardening, tending, moving, driving, decorating, etc etc etc … since early March. I stopped doing yesterday for 3 hours and turned into a pile of mush. Also in a good way. There is value in slowing down/stopping/relaxing. I need to do that more often. Don’t we all?! (And if you or anyone you know is having a hard time with a loss – recent or not – please check out: www.fromgrieftogrowth.com … I know it would be beneficial. Dr. Jennifer Levin’s clients are of all ages/backgrounds/areas and she has a variety of offerings.)

And in taking her workshop, I was reminded of the value of a good friend. I miss my island buds who are still there and those who have also fled the rock for various locations. But, I love that I can now see my good, “old” CO friends … ones that ten years ago I said good-bye to and since then our contact has been mostly online, on the phone, or at rare times as in-person visits. Some friends I lost along the way. Such is life. It happens. But, those that stayed with me … thank you, dear friends. It’s lovely to be back and pick up right where we left off. I just went to lunch with a friend whom I haven’t seen in person for over 3 years … and it was like we’d been doing lunch all that time. I finally saw my beloved sister in law today … not a beat skipped. It has been lovely. I value all my friendships … island or mainland … near or far.

And then there are the other values … the ones where not everyone sees eye to eye about. The contentious ones. The ones that cause friendships and relationships to strain and break. The values or lack of that make many of us question … WTF?!

There is too much political strife going on these days … it seeps into our personal lives and it is exhausting and upsetting and scary. Where do we go from here? If you haven’t read The Handmaid’s Tale, I urge you to do so. In no uncertain terms, it’ll scare the shit out of you. I read it when the candidates were vying for nomination back in 2014. The book was published in 1985 (which is shocking to me) and was so horrifying to me in a “this could be our future, if we’re not careful” sort of way … and well, it’s all starting to look like a too- real possibility.

I value free speech. I value our freedoms. I value life and the right to life … and that also includes 6-year-olds in school classrooms and 10-year old pregnant rape victims. All of a sudden the abortion issue is in our face again and the right to life advocates are in a frenzy. How about the right to live without fear? How about the right to life without being ripped apart and dying by gunfire when you’re a child learning your ABC’s because assault rifles are still okay to obtain? It seems that more people are concerned about protecting a fetus than the elementary child. The dead have more rights to their bodies now than women. How is that possible? What are people thinking? What happened to us? How about some good old, ethics, integrity, common sense, intelligence, morals and values by our politicians who are supposed to represent us? How about the same from each of us? Is that asking too much?

It’s all about values. Who has them. Who does not. Who and what are we aligning ourselves with? Do they share our same values? If we don’t know or haven’t thought about it for a while, it’s probably a good time to take a look and see what and who is of value to each of us. (And then do something about it.)

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