Day 85
I should carry around thank you notes in my purse. I felt compelled to write a few tonight while on the plane but didn’t have the paper to do so – so, I will write them now.
Dear Stewardess … Thank you for reminding me how very far spandex can stretch without ripping at the seams. You really put your uniform to a test tonight and well, good for you! Your well-endowed, ample girly figure was really on display in that thin stretchy skirt and top. Wish I had your confidence to wear blouses cut so low and skirts so tight. You go girl!
Dear Seat-Mate … Thank you for using the middle arm rest the entire flight and those extra jabs with your elbow, from time to time, kept me from dozing off. Thanks for not letting me fall asleep! And thanks for asking me every 20 minutes what time it was as it kept me keenly aware of how long our flight was. That was nice. And also, thanks for showing me that there are still people of my age that don’t really understand the U.S. time zone differences. I mean, it really is SO complicated and difficult. I was happy to explain it over and over and over again to you.
Dear Young Woman in Row 12 … Thanks for chewing your gum so loudly that I could hear it in Row 14. It must have been really tasty and long lasting because you chewed it the entire flight! Wow … it must have been good gum!
Dear Out of It Mother in Row 13 … Thanks for ignoring your 3 year old son on the entire flight tonight. It was really fun to sit behind the two of you with you reading your magazine and sleeping while he was so active and vocal. How cute he was! I didn’t mind his screaming or crying or temper tantrums that lasted most of the flight one bit. And when he spit his drink on me it was fine. I needed a little refreshing spritzer anyway. Thanks for being such a laid back parent. It was so heart-warming to see and I’m so glad that you and Lucifer could be on the same plane as me – and so close, too!
Dear U.S. Air – thanks for not wasting space or seat material on your seats in coach. It was really nice to sit for 3 hours in the fetal position. It made me come back to my roots. And I didn’t mind sitting practically in the lap of the guy behind me. He was kind of cute! Your efficiency in putting so many people into such a small space is to be commended. And your effort to conserve fuel and cost by not serving any snacks was commendable, as well.
Dear Pilot – thanks for the exciting descent into the Denver area and the really fun landing. It was like riding the Wild Chipmunk roller coaster but I didn’t have to wait in line. That bumpy landing and extra little jolt and hop at the end was thrilling! Everyone seemed to enjoy it as noted by all the gasping! Right on!
From now on I think I’ll keep some notes in my purse … for sure!