Lost and Found …

Day 114

Today is Memorial Day … and though I don’t know anyone who is in the service now and we, as a family, did not lose anyone to war in the past I always get nostalgic and weepy on days like today. I guess it’s a mixture of patriotism and appreciation for such extraordinary sacrifice that these ordinary men and women do.

When I moved my flag did not come with me. I purchased a new one last week and went to hang it up and it was so large I could have draped it over the house! So, it went back but that store had no other sizes and I have still to find a new one. I feel my house is naked without one as I have had a flag flying on my home for the past 30 some years. Even the teeny tiny one sticking out of my mailbox is better than nothing – but not quite what I had in mind.

I joined my folks at the town’s parade this morning … many veterans walking or in cars. The WWII vets are vastly decreasing in numbers. With good reason … if they were even 20 years old at the time that war ended they’d be in their mid to late 80’s now.

My Dad’s Dad was in WWI … the only thing I know about that war, from him (as he always refused to talk about it) are the lyrics to the song It’s a Long Way to Tipperary. He always sang it and I guess I heard it so often that it kind of just etched itself into my brain. I have a photo of him in his uniform and the buttons from same, framed (in one of my boxes somewhere). They will go up on the wall when I finish painting and start hanging things up. A small tribute to him and whatever untold demons he faced way back when.

I walked the cemetery across from my house this evening straightening flags and tipped over flowers as I went along. It’s an old place and I found two headstones that showed birth dates back in 1821 … those 2 people were born 191 years ago. It was amazing to me and I wanted to know about them.  What also was amazing (and horribly sad) were the amount of young men buried there. It made me wonder … were they victims of war? Were they victims of violence? Were they victims of an accident or disease? Some were in their 50’s, many  in their 20’s and 30’s, and one heart-breaking young man was just 14. There were baseballs at his gravesite.

It made me think of all those lives lost … for whatever reason or reasons. And, of course, it made me think of Tim. And my grandparents. And it made me think of friends now who are facing challenges … lost time, lost lives, lost loves.

And … in keeping with things that were lost … Oscar disappeared this afternoon. I just got him home, from some wonderful woman who found him and took him to her home. It seems he took a little jaunt and got lost – was he trying to find me when I went out? I don’t know … but I was a mess for the last 6 hours. Thinking horrific thoughts of him dead of heat stroke under the bushes or eaten by a coyote at the cemetery or hit by a car on the busy street not too far from here.

An emotional day with an emotional end.  A day of reflection of lives and loves lost … and one, very gratefully, found.

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