The Jellybean Lesson …

Day 277

It dawned on me today, some time after dawn, that I am too old to stay up until 4am twice in one week. Well, it’s not that I can’t stay up that late … it’s the unwarranted expectation that the next day I’ll feel, even remotely, decent.

Last night was a good night: the election returns were exciting and favorable, I got to spend time with my son, I chatted with my daughter, I was up with the vampires and owls – it was a great night. 

So, there I was this morning happy but feeling not so decent and quasi hung over (though the last actual hangover I had was some 30 years ago) – basking in my post-election glow blissfully lost in the thoughts that maybe people were more enlightened than I thought … that this country took seriously the responsiblity of voting, that women and minorities and our youth stepped up and spoke out, and that we could go on without campaign garbage bombarding us (as has been the case for too long) and we, as a nation, could set aside our differences and get down to business and go forward together to make this country stronger and a better place.

And then I received an email from an old friend … and the glow faded. I was smacked in the face by the ugly reality that some people are well … stupid.

And intolerant, nasty, racist and unaccepting. 

I was told by this friend that he was so proud of people, who normally might have voted “party” but voted for the issues at hand and a movement forward instead. He said he had a renewed faith in the people of our country as he was worried that the majority would let their narrow-mindedness determine their vote by what he could only describe as “closet racism”.

He went on to tell me that there were others who were quite open about their views. There were still far too many people, that he knew and had talked with, who couldn’t and wouldn’t vote for any candidate (let alone the incumbent President), not because they didn’t know the issues or understand the merits, but because he was black. They were solely voting based on skin color. 

I was sickened. It is 2012 and people, in this country, are still judging others by the amount of melanin in their skin. Really? In this day and age, for some people, their deciding factor in who leads the greatest nation on this planet comes down to skin PIGMENT?

Wow. I am so naive. I thought we were past that idiocy. 

A person is not born prejudiced … that is something that is learned. And shame on whomever taught the people today to think that merit should be determined by the color of one’s skin and not by the actions that that person takes.

And kudos to my parents. I was never taught how to be racist. It was never an issue as I grew up that people were different inside because of the color of their skin outside. It makes as much sense to me to discriminate against someone’s height or eye color or hair color. Or for that matter what their ethnicity is, their body build, or who they love.

In five words … I just don’t get it.

I sold Mary Kay cosmetics for 23 years and the most important thing I brought away with me was another five words … Is there any reason why?

I have used those words countless times in my sales efforts … Is there any reason why I can’t wrap this up for you?  In raising my kids … Is there any reason why you can’t hang up your shirt?  In subbing at schools … Is there any reason why we can’t keep the noise down a bit? In life coaching situations … Is there any reason why we can’t work on this?

I’d like to ask those people who can’t see beyond their own insane prejudices the same question … Is there any reason why you can’t see people for who they are inside and not for their outward appearance?

Except I’d probably not be able to keep my mouth shut and I’d probably also ask them … Is there any reason why you are so ridiculously ignorant and such a bigoted ass?

In classrooms where I’ve subbed most of the kids get a lesson in acceptance from me. It’s not on any lesson plan but I do it anyway when I can. I feel that the kids spend more time in the classroom with each other than at home and the classroom is their day-time family and they should look out for each and accept each other for the differences and special gifts that make each of them unique.

The lesson is fast and tasty. Everyone gets a jellybean. And we all know what jellybeans look like … they come in a large assortment of colors. I then ask everyone to look over their jellybean and remember its color. Then I tell them we are going to put the beans in our mouths (without chewing!) and let them sit for a bit. And then I have them take the beans out. And what does everyone have in their hand (besides a slimy, saliva dripping sugar bit)? … A translucent jellybean. The colored sugar coating dissolved and just left the clear sugar inside. And all the insides, no matter what the outside color was to start with, were all the same.

I go on to further tell them that those jellybeans are everyone in the class … that we might look different on the outside but on the inside we’re all the same. And we need to be nice to each other and help each other out and learn from each other, as well. We need to share our differences and our gifts because learning and life doesn’t just come from books.

And well, blah blah blah … you get the idea. And the kids get the message. And we go on with our day. And hopefully that little jellybean lesson sticks with them as they go through life.

And in thinking this all over … it saddens me to know that there are still too many people who have been taught something so ugly and who go through life with such a narrow and ugly view of their fellow man. 

I feel the need to go visit my friend … and take with me a ton of jellybeans.

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