Day 2/23
Today is the anniversary of my childhood dog’s birthday … Marvin. She was a standard, red dachshund named Ginger … but for some reason, we kids, changed her name because she just looked like a Marvin. I don’t know what a “Marvin” looks like – but, apparently, she looked like one! I used to dress her up in doll clothes and push her in a baby carriage down the sidewalks as she happily napped! Happy Birthday to you my sweet angel companion.
The lobster is back … well, sort of. I had this overwhelming desire, the last few days, to “touch base” so … here I am. Having completed my yearly blog experiment I have found myself feeling as if I have willingly deposited myself into solitary confinement! My deposition from being Queen of the Lobsters is complete!
And though it has been less than three weeks since my last post I feel as if decades have passed and that all that was near and dear to me has faded.
In any account … it’s been odd. Weird. Lonely.
I hadn’t realized how much my writing the blog would mean to me.
It’s been one of those months that is sliding into the past far too quickly without my being able to (seemingly) get even the slightest productivity accounted for by the time I fall into bed … which is, as usual, far too late at night.
I have too many projects going on so even if I get a bit done on all of them – it never seems like I’ve accomplished anything because I am not “done” with any of them. No completion. It distresses me!
I find myself writing as if I were chatting with someone one hundred years past … the cadence that comes to mind and the words that flow forth are not my usual banter. It is as if I have just emerged from some other place, caught in a time warp from my return from back in time to present day and my language lingers in the past when speech and writing were more rhythmic and poetic.
I have a tendency to do this. Eons ago I found myself home from a week in Dallas for Director training and it took me weeks to shake honey-pie, darlin’, and y’all from my daily language!
I just finished reading And Only to Deceive (Tasha Alexander) which is an historical-based fictitious mystery set in Victorian England/Paris … which, for a lack of any other word, enthralled me. I am a slave to books … and I don’t care if they are children’s stories or literature masterpieces … I am lost in the written word.
Hence, I do not allow myself the luxury of reading very often as I have the tendency to put life on hold as I do not want to do anything but read … and normal daily doings are put off and thrown to the wind as I am plunged head-long into whatever book I open and the entrancement begins!
This last story transported me to London and Paris and as I followed the young widow through the City of Light, once again, I found myself longing for Paris as one would a long-lost lover. What is it with that city that captures one’s soul so completely? It most definitely must be in the air because, while there, I know I didn’t drink the water!
Which brings me back, once again, to Paris. The dream I turn back onto whenever I need a moment of calm, delight, beauty, diversion. Seriously, what is it with that place? I think I need to go back, if for no other reason, than to prove to myself that it really isn’t so fabulous … and if I’m wrong … how wonderful that would be!
On a personal note … the last two-some weeks have been uneventful and yet I feel that I have never been busier. I am working part-time at a studio near home … the dryer and fridge both died (but were fixable) … I’ve thrown myself into some computer classes and programs at the local library … I’ve had a massage … I’ve planned four trips … I’m working like a fiend in my office … and Oscar, my dear/sweet/wonderful Oscar, has suffered a stroke or something that has left him a shell of his former self. He is healthy but not “him” (whacked-out … for lack of better verbage). I hate that pets get old!
In any case … I miss writing. I miss the discipline. I miss the creativity. But most of all I miss the connection … with you! So, I will pop in from time to time and … connect.
This old crusty one needs that for the soul … you haven’t heard the last from this lobster yet!