January 23, 2017 (repost from January 12, 2017 – system glitch!)
I have a big head. Not in the egotistical way, but physically/structurally. And not only does it seem big, but it seems inordinately large. As in huge. Massive. But only when I look at myself in a mirror from the neck up. Guess it must be due to all the brains inside!
However, as contradictory as this sounds, being shorn makes my head look small when compared to my body because being hairless makes the rest of my body look enormous!
Just what I need … a shrunken head on an enormous body!
When I started this hair journey – or shaved journey, as it is – the first thing I noticed was the size of my head. It loomed in the mirror and all I could think of, at first, was how much I looked like one of those aliens from Mars Attacks!
As the days passed, other alien beings came to mind … especially the one inside the head of the dead guy in the morgue in Men in Black. I think he was the Royal Emperor or something … huge head, gigantic eyes (which oddly, always reminded me of my grandmother’s).
It’s all been a bit unsettling.
I never really studied the size of the head compared to the rest of the body. I’ve never taken an anatomy class – the closest thing I’ve ever gotten to dissection was an earthworm in 7th grade. There may have been a starfish involved, also – but I have super sensitive olfactory abilities (which is why my kids called me The Bloodhound when they were teens) and a queasy stomach and I’m pretty sure I spent the starfish days in the library doing some report instead of puking on the laboratory table.
But I digress.
Aliens. Roswell. Area 51. ET. Me. I kind of lumped us all in the same group last week. I didn’t mind, too much, being alien-esque, as long as said alien was more akin to ET than to the actual aliens in any of the Alien movies! But, I’m now past the alien stage … the completely bald, naked stage … the cold, clammy and weird plucked chicken stage … and am on to the velvet stage.
I know what’s next. Coming soon is the Militant look!
When my husband, Tim, was fighting cancer, he lost his hair. Our son, Ted, did the honors of shaving it off. Tim had a gorgeous head of thick, dark brown/black hair with enough body and wave to be the envy or many (males or females). He had better (thicker, fuller, more lustrous) hair than I ever did. Ever will. So, when that hair came off it was really a change for him/for us. He said he felt shorter (I just feel wider!). I don’t think I ever got used to his no-hair look. I always felt like there was a stranger in the house … kind of like having Mr. Clean as an unexpected house guest. Or Yul Brynner.
Tim’s baldness didn’t last long though cuz he was one who could shave in the morning and have a good five o’clock shadow by 1:30 the same afternoon. So, despite the chemo cocktails, his hair grew back but it came in fierce and dark. His head was soon covered with a million little spikes of fury and vengeance. He looked very militant. And scary.
I feel the militant stage coming on. However, my hair is changing a bit in color and I noticed I have a patch of silver coming in over my right temple! So, I might sport more of a tie-dye militant look in the next week or so. Not so scary!
The one odd thing I have noticed, so far, is the imbalance between head and body size. It’s what I’m calling the “Butt Factor”. Okay, not so much butt as well, the boob factor. I can’t see behind me to see if my being hairless makes my butt look bigger … though I imagine it does as everything seems to make my butt look bigger. A plane could be flying overhead and my butt somehow looks bigger. However, having no hair makes my shoulders look like I could take on Johnny Weissmuller (along with any stray alligators) and my boobs look bigger, too! (If you don’t know who JW is, first off – shame on you and secondly, google him!) Anyway, I’m sure it’s just an optical illusion or someone would have already figured this out and there would be a lot more bald exotic dancers!
Think about it … without hair on my head, my head looks smaller (aside from the fact that it is seemingly huge) compared to my body … so, my body parts look bigger (hence, why I’m not too upset about this double chin – it’s all just an optical illusion!). Think of a bowling pin (or my high school math teacher) … the top part is really tiny compared to the rest of it – but put a miniature wig on said pin (or math teacher) and the top portion wouldn’t look so small anymore! When my hair grows out – which, I’m pretty sure, will be years from now – I’ll remember this and be more inclined to have a beehive or updo to balance out the size of my body!
In any case, this experiment/challenge is starting to have effect … it has given me new found empathy – even if it is for aliens, my high school math teacher … and bowling pins.