March 24th, 2017 – Friday
It’s Friday! The weekend is tomorrow – yay! And I always find this funny – that I care – cuz I work from home and to everyone else, I have a perpetual week of weekend days! And, in a way, I do … but that’s not going to stop me from enjoying a good work-free weekend!
Tomorrow we (a few neighbor-friends and I) are going daffodil viewing. Now, that’s not exactly the newest olympic event nor do we have to train to do this … just drive up island and over to the fields that are east of us and ooh and ahh to our heart’s content over fields and fields and fields of sunny yellow. If you’ve never seen bulb “farms” – you really need to do so … they are lovely. But, as lovely as daffs are … my heart cannot wait (another few weeks) for the tulips.
I’ve always loved tulips. And perhaps it started with a dress I had when I was about 4 years old. It had cap sleeves and a rounded neck with dark pink piping trim. The bodice and skirt were white with pink, yellow and purple tulips (w/green leaves) in rows all around. The skirt had one of those attached netting under slips under it so that the skirt itself puffed out ever so Cinderella-like. And there was a wide, dark pink sash at the waist. It was lovely. I have several pictures of me wearing it. I have pictures of my daughter wearing it, as well. I’m thinking that whatever grandchild comes first I’d like a photo of them in that dress. Pity the grandson!
In any case … tulips have been and remain one of my favorite flowers. They are a reminder to us that spring is here … shed the woes of winter and breathe deeply. It is but fleeting and fragrant and remarkable. Enjoy!
I was in the sauna this morning. Something I don’t do often enough – silly me. When the body quiets, the mind can be heard. So, I sat in the warmth, surrounded by that yummy cedar aroma (after reading my teaser supplement of the new Magnolia Journal – which looks to be a fabulous new publication) and opened up my body with some deep breaths and the memories started flowing.
I love times when memories surface – things you didn’t forget exactly, but haven’t thought about or that haven’t come to mind in so long, just pop up.
I went to a large high school in the Chicago suburbs. A beautiful, massive building with 3 stories and a cool, storage basement (think the ending of Raiders of the Lost Arc), a “real” theater/auditorium, a field house with an indoor track and basketball court, and 2 pools. One of which I’m sure still has 18″ of murky water in it hiding Jimmy Hoffa’s body. It was creepy then. I’m sure it is creepier now with all the crumbling mosaics and mold. Our high school was 4x larger than the town I now live in. We had more kids in my graduating class than are in my town here on the island. Kind of puts things into perspective.
Our school, if you were to divide it by faith orientation, consisted of the kids that went to Campus Life or who went to Temple. Most of the kids I hung out with were Jewish. I went to a lot of lavish Bat and Bar Mitzvahs and Sweet 16 celebrations between 7th and 10th grades. They were fabulous … so different from the celebrations in my life. And those kids were all smart. Every one of them was brilliant. I don’t know what their mothers drank or ate while pg or what was in their genes … but, even then, I knew they had “something” … a potential that others didn’t. I’ve lost touch but hope they flourished. I want to think that they have been fabulous contributors to society. Nice, funny, brainiac kids. They all had such promise. I hope they have had wonderful lives.
Weird things, like this, pop into my head when my thoughts are silenced. Gone for a moment are the consuming thoughts that wonder what bills are due and when will it be nice enough outside for me to de-moss the roof and fix the fence. When I sit and just let myself BE, life shifts.
And in thinking about these things … I realize we, my graduating class, turn 60 this year. How can that be? We all were just babies! (By the way, happy b-day, Sue! I loved you from that first day with your purple shoes!)
Day 83 and the hair is growing in. I’ve lost the “Hurricane Leslie” swirl on the back of my head. The hair is now a bit longer so it’s just rotating around but not as noticeable – laying flatter, not so swirly! I’ve got little sideburns and I’m almost (not quite – but almost) to the point where people might think this is an intentional really short “do”. Another month and I might be at pixie stage. Maybe. It still surprises me to see myself in the mirror – who is that? Oh, yeah – it’s ME! And, I swear, every day the hair grows a bit more, it seems darker, which makes my face look rounder. How is that even possible? I’m more moon-faced than I’ve ever been! If I were to put phosphorescent paint on my face (which I am not about to do), my neighborhood would have a full moon in the area every night! I have the roundest head in the world! Charlie Brown move over … I now own this title!
In any case … it’s growing (the hair, not my head). Slowly. It’s been easy/no care and very simple and never even a thought as far as “what do I do with my hair today? cuz there’s been so very little of it. Kind of nice on one hand.
On the other hand, I have so much empathy for those that went down this path due to illness or treatment or some other not-so-good reason. It really does a number on the self-esteem. Kudos to the millions of women who have endured this while being sick … and worried about their life’s outcome while feeling and looking so terrible. I can’t even imagine what a “number” this does on a person when they’re battling (usually) cancer. It can’t help heal. Days have been hard enough, feeling so dreadfully ugly/androgynous/naked – and I was healthy! With my whole heart, I applaud you women who have gone down this path.
And, here we are sliding into the last week of March. Where do the days go? Though the calendar says that Spring has arrived, we are late up here in the PNW. It’s still cold, still rainy, still not springy enough for me. I am antsy. I want warmth and sunshine. And even though daffs will come tomorrow – I want flowers. The robins arrived a few months ago – I’m pretty sure I’ve seen them sporting raincoats and ear muffs lately. They are probably wondering where spring is, too!
The mind is waxing nostalgic. The hair is growing. The soul is waiting for spring.