This is another blog post that, somehow, did not get published. So – a here’s a little something from late Summer.
August 23, 2019 – Friday
The days go by quickly …. the weeks and months more so and I wonder how can this be? Next week will be a year since my dad passed. He is gone – yet life has and continues to go on. I seem to measure time in years by deaths … 1 since my dad, almost one by Gert, 13 since Tim. Shouldn’t we measure things by LIFE?
Languid. We had a rain shower today – far from normal August weather for us – and the cool breezes that brought the little storm to us and that remained after it marched on eastward made me feel all snoozy and peaceful. Languid. Such a good word. I looked it up and there is actually a Sherwin Williams paint color with that name … it is a cross between a soft pale sea glass and a pale, dusty blue … not aqua or sky or navy … but somewhere in between. The color name was spot on. Perfectly perfect.
We’ve had a string of lovely days … not wanting to press my luck, I’ll cross my fingers for more. We don’t get summer up on this NW island … more like a warm spring for a few weeks and then we slip into perpetual October weather – which I love but when it’s October. It was 71 last night at 10pm. It was glorious. That was warmer than most of our summer days. I hated coming into the house. I wanted so badly to sit on my steps and listen to the songs of the peepers and crickets but the peepers sing their songs in the spring … and we have no crickets here.
I am reading a book that is so unbearably sad there are times while reading it that I don’t think I can continue doing so. The heartache is almost too much to bear. But I have to find out what happens so I will continue on … telling myself it is only fiction. But I know this girl. This character is now in my soul and she will forever be with me … and part of me. I’d love to have that impact! I need to let this author know how she has moved me.
The political scene is too difficult these days to watch/keep up with … too absurd, too disappointing, too atrocious. I am at a loss and feel so helpless and yet how can I stand idly by? I don’t know what to do and hate thinking that it wouldn’t matter anyway if I did something … but what would I do? Decency. What happened to common decency?
We should all be so very grateful … nothing is given. Life and all that it entails is such a gift. And with that I think … we (whomever is reading this) all have so much. Why would any of us act without civility or decency to each other? We are so fortunate – shouldn’t niceness and all that be inherent and just a normal way to live life? Why is there even room for nastiness, egotism/vanity, greed? For shame!
I am dogless. It’s an odd thing for me. No personal dogs and no guest dogs for another week. It’s been a few days here and there since Gert and Clara passed last fall that I’ve been solo. It’s amazing how much I sweep off my floor! I’m used to having a houseful … or at least a few … and it’s so lonely by myself. I have no one to share my dinner with. No one to clean up the floor by the stove. No one to fill a water dish for. I don’t like it.
We must be sliding into fall because I’m ready for pumpkins. There was a day last week when the air felt different … it had a different scent and I knew … the seasons are changing. Fall is coming. I love this time of year … now until the end of November. I am a fall baby. I love every autumnal thing … even the shortening of the days. It signals that it’s time to start cozying in … it’s time to get ready for the quiet and rest of winter. We will be deep into autumn when I will find myself in the Carolinas. I am determined to find “my place”. I know it’s out there. I will find it. I need to find it.
Summer’s ending and I find myself shifting … businesses, plans, wardrobe. We are always evolving … sometimes I’d like to not. Sometimes I wish I’d just get the journey behind me and be at my destination. Be my better self. Be where I’m supposed to be. Know that I’ve arrived. The laugh’s on me.
I have favorite quotes taped to my wall/my lamp on my desk … they sit around me and share my space and for the most part – go unnoticed … until once in a while one flutters down and catches my attention. The one that caught my eye this week was “Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in your journey.”. These little nudges from the universe or loved souls are precious to me … reminders that I’m on the right path … I’m going in the right direction … I’ll get there. Be patient. Glean.