The Armchair Traveler …

January 20, 2020 … Monday

I would like to think it started with the Baltic Sea … but I would be wrong.

It started years earlier when we signed permission for our, then 17 year old, son to go on a trip with his language class to Germany.

The travel bug bit hard! I should have known but I was naive … thinking this would quell further desires. Oh, yes it was great to broaden his horizons and open up his world – at the same time making it smaller/more accessible. But international travel was not in our wheelhouse. It was (dare I say?) … foreign to us.

We had no idea how far that one trip would take him or where both of these kids would eventually go.

I should have known when I got the photo of Ted in the Baltic Sea. Yes – IN the Baltic Sea. IN the commercial fishing lanes. IN a kayak … holding onto a buoy. Oh boy. But – he was smiling!

What can I say? That travel bug bit him as a teen and for the other half of his life – he’s been following his heart and filling up the pages in his passports. My daughter’s bug bite was lesser but she was still bitten. I can still see her beaming face as she sat at the kitchen table with her 3 girlfriends – just after they hit the “send” button on her computer booking their backpacking trip to Europe. That was an exciting day!

That was also the day I started buying Tums and Rolaids by the case! Nothing makes the stomach juices start overproducing than a photo of your son on a buoy in the Baltic Sea or the mere thought of your beautiful teen daughter wandering the countryside in a foreign land.

I’ve managed to make the rounds of a few countries in Europe. I’ve been to Canada, Mexico and the Caribbean. But my travels and experiences do NOT compare with that of my kids’.

And because of them I’ve traveled the world … 40 plus countries, 5 continents and a variety of vast bodies of water. I’ve been in ponds, rivers, streams, lakes, bays, cays, seas, and oceans … and I’ve barely even gotten wet! I’ve been in deserts, savannahs, mountain peaks, jungles, and forests. I’ve been in the countryside and in all sizes of cities. I’ve traveled not knowing one word of the native language.

Last week the Taal volcano erupted. Ted sent a “Remember When” photo to me from 4 years ago from when he was standing on its rim. Lovely. (As in OMG! What the …)

He was in South Africa when Mandela passed. Oddly enough he was in Cuba when Castro died, as well. He missed the Russian invasion of Georgia by 2 days (or less). He was in Syria before the war started and Sarajevo (Bosnia/Herzegovina) after their war ended. He was just in Lebanon where there were protests. He’s passed through security scrutiny that makes me nearly physically ill when he just relays the arduous and intimidating procedures to me. He’s been in places I’m sure he probably should NOT have been.

Some stories I know. Others I don’t. Some I’m sure I don’t want to know about. The stories about bribing the border patrol and out-running some crooked police make me glad I don’t know them all.

I’m content to look at pictures from the comfort of my armchair. From there I can’t get thrown into some foreign jail, snacked on by a shark or lose an ear due to frostbite! (Not that any of that has happened to either of them! But just sayin’ … )

Sam just got back from Hawaii. She’s an adventure girl and I think I eat more Tums and Rolaids when she’s gone than when Ted is off on his escapades. The what-ifs of a woman traveling solo are always in my head … obviously, that’s not the case with Ted. I worry differently about him.

This past week was very rainy (as in VERY rainy) in parts of Hawaii … and seemingly where Sam was particularly so. One of her Instagram posts was of her on a very muddy, slippery/slimy jungle trail – leaning over some bushes while photographing some yellow raging river/waterfall that plunged some 400′. I’m at home in said armchair yelling at the images on the phone telling her to BACK AWAY FROM THE CLIFF. I knew she was alright because I had just talked with her and the images were from the previous day’s hike … but still! Her next day’s hike was canceled due to deadly and dangerous conditions where people were being emergency air-lifted from the trail. Yeah – more Tums. I did the same thing last month when she was on a teeny tiny loose gravelly mountain trail with a mountain wall on one side and a sheer drop on the other. I’m pretty sure the trail was less than 3 feet wide and had an incline grade of 30%. I knew she was home feeding the dog but it didn’t stop me from yelling at the video saying, “STOP RUNNING! STOP RUNNING!” I can still hear the loose gravel skitter away beneath her feet.

My kids don’t have kids. They don’t get it – yet.

But, because of my kids I’ve traveled the world! Through their adventures I’ve been swimming in a pristine (and extremely cold) mountain lake in Switzerland … I’ve been air dropped and skied in the Canadian Rockies. I’ve hiked and biked Moab and Zion and the Grand Canyon. I’ve hiked 14’ers and other mountain peaks – with and without technical gear. I’ve taken breathtaking snapshots of the Tetons at daybreak (Wyoming) and a haunting image of a shepherd girl (Syria). I’ve snorkeled with sea turtles in Hawaii and I’ve gone free diving in Mexico – all without getting sweaty or wet (or having to put on a bathing suit! Bonus!)

I’ve eaten guinea pig outside of Machu Picchu (Peru), fried grubs (Mexico City, Mexico) and questionable street foods (Everywhere). I’ve climbed countless steps – with a 40 lb backpack – in Cinque Terre, Italy as well as ancient ruins in Mexico and the pyramids (Egypt). I’ve run marathons across the bridge spanning the Bosporus River in Turkey between Europe and Asia and between villages in Italy. I’ve run with packs of wild dogs in Ankara (Turkey) and Bangalore (India) … and moose in the mountains of Colorado.

I’ve seen Notre Dame (Paris, France) and Aleppo (Syria) intact before the ravages of fire or senselessness of war. I’ve been to World Heritage Sites that are no longer. I’ve wandered spice markets and catacombs ands swam in turquoise waters. I’ve seen the Great Wall and the Terracotta Warriors (China). I’ve stood in Red Square (Moscow, Russia), been in awe of the spires in Prague (Czech Republic) and have strolled along canals in Copenhagen (Denmark) and Amsterdam (Netherlands). I’ve even bungeed off the world’s tallest bridge (South Africa) … and I didn’t even throw up. (But after he told me about it – I wanted to!)

I’ve shared stories and dinners with locals almost everywhere. Smoked a cigar in Havana (Cuba) and mentored talented minds in Gaza (Gaza Strip). I’ve slept under the stars and stayed in tents and huts and cabins, hostels and 5-star hotels in jungles, beaches, deserts, cities and mountains all around the world. I’ve visited the temples in Malaysia and Thailand. I’ve seen artwork and architecture that is awe-inspiring. I’ve seen lions and giraffes on safari, sat with the Fossey gorillas and walked with the Maasai warriors (Africa). I’ve even spent 13 days in an ICU unit in Delhi (India). (Yes – that was scary.)

And that is the tip of the iceberg of travels (and oddly, no one has been on an iceberg!).

Do I feel that I’ve missed out and wish I had been in on their adventures? Most of the time – no. I’m not that adventurous. They got that bent from Tim. I’m very content to see their photos and hear their stories (and sometimes not hear their stories). Do I wish to go off with them – somewhere – sometime in the future? Sure! I’d love to zipline through a Costa Rican jungle or hold a koala bear (before they are extinct) and certainly I’d love to go to The Netherlands or Brussels, or to Paris or Copenhagen (again). But I’ll leave the adventure travel to them – I’ll see the photos and hear the stories later. But, for the most part, I’m content to stay home, sit in my armchair and eat Tums.

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