November 25, 2020 – Wednesday … (the day before Covid-19’s Thanksgiving)
We are in unprecedented times. How many of us thought we’d still be hearing those words … NOW? TEN months after the onset of Covid-19 in this country? I thought by now we’d be back to normal. We are anything but as spikes continue … cases rise … hospitals are at full capacity … and the death toll climbs.
And yet … all I want to do is be grateful. My kids are doing well. My mom is healthy. My eyesight – though not as great as I’d like – has returned after unexpected complications of surgery/bad eyesight and age. The election went the way I’d hoped. My home, once again, has a little dog in it. Life is good.
When I first started blogging … my self-imposed 365 Day Challenge … I had no idea that eight and a half years later, I’d still be writing … and that people would still be reading! I love that I am and that you/they are.
Thanksgiving is (and has always been) my favorite holiday. Maybe because, in part, it’s that I hail from Pilgrim stock … maybe it’s in my DNA. When I was a kid we’d gather at my dad’s parent’s apartment in Chicago. Grandma must have cooked for a week prior to our arrival! We all sat around a massive table .. 20 some of us … aunts, uncles, cousins that I only saw on that day … the uncle we ran from when he offered a chiropractic adjustment … we’d rather run on down to the basement and play ping pong or pretend not to look for Grandpa’s old Playboys. There was an oven in the basement (next to the wringer washer) … and the turkey was in that one (the upstairs one had the “sides”) … and all of us kids were practically basted in the aroma of roasting turkey by the time dinner was on the table. Grandma was a master cook … we’d always count and she’d have at least 13 vegetables. Not that I’d eat more than one or two of them – but they were there … resplendent and worthy of praise by Julia herself. As soon as dinner was finished the kids ran back to the basement to play and the women cleaned up. I have no idea what the men did! Soon after, the table would be piled high – again – with sandwich meats and cheeses, pickles, olives, leftovers and desserts. How anyone had any room left to eat one more bite was beyond me – but we all did! Those were fun days. I am very grateful for those times and for those with whom we shared those holidays. So many of them are gone now.
A year or so before we were married, Tim and I went up to Seattle – the reason of that trip escapes me now. But, we had car trouble and ended up having TG dinner in a Denny’s. I remember feeling so horrible for the people eating there … that THIS was the best they could do. No friends, no family had bothered (or existed) to invite them in. I found that so profoundly sad.
After we married, Thanksgiving became “my” holiday. I always loved it for it’s simplicity and underlying message. No commercialism, no shopping sprees (we were NOT Black Friday people!) … just a houseful of family and a few friends … and Pictionary in the evening. We all laugh, even now, so many years after Tim got the word – Zeus. Let’s just say he was not up on his mythology and being the artist drew a very intricate solar system. Somewhere in his parochial schooling Zeus was introduced (or assumed by him) as an extra planet. He was mortified. We all had a good laugh (at his expense, sadly) … and his team lost. It was funnier in person than I could ever recount … poor Tim. But whenever I see or hear the word Zeus … I feel a special longing in my heart.
The year that he died I wished we had done something different for Thanksgiving that year. ANYTHING else would have been better than looking down the table to where my dad sat knowing that was Tim’s chair and he was not in it. I didn’t eat anything that meal. I pushed the food around on my plate knowing if I opened my mouth – nothing but a guttural howl would explode from it. Not the best day.
After that and my moves, TG was hit or miss. One year Sam had it at her place for just Ted and I and it was simply lovely. One of my favorites. Intimate and candlelit … her table was as gorgeous as the roasted bird and trimmings were tasty. Even though that was the year my dad passed and my mom was in the hospital … that was a best day. I was with my two favorite people and my soul was very happy.
And here we are … 2020 … the year of Covid and so much angst and upset … sickness and loss – on so many levels. And yet … I am so grateful. I am still on the island – not where I thought I’d be, but it is what it is. I have good, very helpful friends here and I love my guest dogs. My family and I are healthy – though apart. Sam is setting her dining table for herself and her dog. She dreamed they shared a bowl of mashed potatoes. And knowing her – that might be what they do. Ted is off with his “bubble” … hopefully staying Covid-free as they weather Southern Cal together away from all things reality in SF. My mom is in her retirement apartment and having dinner with a hall neighbor. And I’m here with Bea, a guest poodle and Marie Calendar. I’m going to make some candied yams to go with my frozen dinner and will call it good. I’ll watch a movie, do a little Pilgrim research and have a nice, little relaxing day. I’m kind of looking forward to the non-fuss/no-mess for once. And, though alone, I will be enjoying a day of coziness and phone calls, emails, texting and face-timing with those that I hold most dear. We all might be alone but we’ll still be together … in some way … even if it’s only in spirit.
The local ads keep telling people to stay home … forego the travel and the “normal” traditions of this holiday this year … as this year is anything but normal. An alone TG means no ICU Christmas. Let’s all keep that in mind and keep each other safe and here.
And eventually, this pandemic shall pass. But in the meantime I’m going to count my blessings and be grateful for all that is … and all that isn’t. Whatever that might mean to me (or you).
And along with being grateful for vision and my family and friends and all the blessings that comprise my life … I am ever thankful for puppies and spring rain … the smell of bookstores and crayons … twinkle lights, fall foliage, silly hippos, craggy coastlines and green meadows, fragrant lilacs and lilies, and fat blueberries … and … the ability to express myself at any time and for all the love that is bestowed on me that keeps me glued together.
I am also so very thankful for YOU.
Have a great day. Count your blessings and have a happy, happy Thanksgiving!
(If you want to read another piece … go to Nov. 22, 2012 and revisit that post!)