January 13, 2023 ~ Friday (am needing coffee but though sunny, there’s still too much snow on the ground for this lover of green) …
Well, earlier this morning, something came to my mind and I thought … Oh, that would be good to blog about. Well, a few hours later and I realized that that thought had gone out of my head as fast as a rocket to the moon! So, I sat down to write – thinking sitting in front of the laptop would conjure up those lost thoughts from somewhere deep inside me – but I came up empty!
So here, instead, is what came to mind.
Argh! I am a pirate today … at least for a while until my nerve block wears off later. I had eye surgery yesterday – and am wearing a patch. I (finally) got that ghost glob sucked out of my eyeball – a lovely leftover souvenir from my cataract surgery/retinal detachment. It’s been a long and annoying 2 years and yay … it’s finally gone! Today, I’m seeing cross-eyed without the patch – due to the nerves still being woozy; I feel like I’m going to fall over or like I have vertigo without it. So, patch it is! I will just have to hunt and peck on this keyboard while I write and I’ll still be a better typist than Bluebeard any day!
Speaking of Bluebeard … how did he get that name? Wanting to know, I looked it up (thank you Google and all things internet) and now kind of wish I hadn’t! Yes, I have instant edification and enlightenment but ew … I was gravely (no pun intended) mistaken. Bluebeard was never a pirate though he has always been linked to piracy. He was actually a horrible character (a multi-murderer with a blue beard) in a (very gruesome) fairy tale by Charles Perrault which first appeared in 1695 titled Contes de ma mère l’oye (in English: Tales of Mother Goose). Who knew? This was far from the Mom Goose stories I read to my kids at bedtime! The story (however made-up) was influenced by a real-life pedophile and murderer. And, apparently, the term “bluebeard” is now short-hand (in some circles) for serial killer.
Sometimes enlightenment is horrible. Ew.
The pirate I’m thinking of was, instead, Blackbeard (real name: Edward Teach) who was nicknamed as such for his black beard and fearsome appearance/nature. He was an English pirate (previously a sailor?) who sailed around the West Indies in the early 1700s. He was killed in action (stab wounds) in late 1718. In any case – I’m going to put the creepy Blue/Blackbeard images out of my mind and just think of Johnny Depp. A far better pirate in my (patched) mind’s eye.
Anyway … this all got me thinking about names. Names are important(even a pet’s) and can shape a person’s personality and even future. If you get the chance to name someone or something – be careful when choosing a name … do some research! Joseph Schmo might sound lovely but you know someone is going to shorten it to Joe Schmo and … well … there you have it! Some names are lyrical or pretty sounding. Some meanings are sweet while others are far from it. I’m glad I’m not named Ursula as I think of the skinny, fan club president in Bye, Bye Birdie or of the sea witch from The Little Mermaid. Not the best name (though Ursula Andress was quite the dish back in the day). But, some other names seemingly are destined to become best seller novelists or ball players. Ernie Banks is a name that well-fits a baseball player. Good thing Arnold Palmer ended up being a golfer cuz his name sounds like one. Ernest Hemingway was meant to become an author with his name. And, it’s a good thing Walt Disney wasn’t named Walt Voulgaropoulos or some such other hard to pronounce name. It just wouldn’t have had the same ring to it to say you’re going to Voulgaropoulosland! Sometimes things are just destined to be.
And, sometimes names are just a mouthful or they play on one’s tongue … like the kid’s name in my 7th grade class – Draghi Rahdnich. And, years later, my mom worked with a woman named Doberslava Bisamaczic … or thereabouts. Their names have stuck with me for decades! We had a little dachshund when I was young … her name was Ginger. But, we called her Marvin. It was far better – that moniker just fit. I once knew a Hu Wu as well as a Betty Betty … both nicely rhythmic. And, for what it’s worth, my maiden name was Leslie Leske … say that out loud 3x and you’ll know why I shortened it to Les and then was happy to take on my married name! (What WERE my parents thinking?!)
And, I’m sure you remember those silly fake book titles from jokes in the ’70s or so … Shell Collector by Sandy Beach … Yellow River by I.P. Daily … Ape Antics by Hu Flung Poo or made up names like … Kandy Kane, April Showers, Summer Brown, Whitey Teeth, and Jim Shoe.
And it being Friday, the 13th – I thought I’d look up names that don’t have the best meanings or that bring bad luck (sorry folks if you have one of these!). Molly translates to “bitter” … Tristan means “noisy” … Portia means “pig” (not overly flattering unless you were one) … Kennedy means “ugly head” (and btw, supposedly, there hasn’t been a child named Kennedy in England since 1999!) … Diablo means the Devil … Deidre implies sadness … and Mallory and Jonah … well, they both just bring bad luck all the way around!
And then there’s Ima Goen … the character I made up for my short-story smash years ago while living on the island. There was a contest for 100-word stories (no more/no less – exactly 100 words) and the entries were read by actors in the performance arts. Fake book covers were displayed on a screen and the entries were read/performed one Saturday night in the little theater. All great fun.
Here’s “Ima Goen” again … (best read with a Southern drawl in mind) …
“Ima Goen”
You’d think my mama and daddy were humorous folks. Not so.
Contrarily, my name defies their stern nature. My name is Ima Goen … and that’s what I plan on doin’.
I’m sick of saying Ima Goen … cuz I know someone’s gonna ask me, “Where?”
It ain’t funny. So, I’m a goin’. I don’t know where … and I don’t know when but I’m a goin’ somewhere where I can breathe air so fresh my lungs will laugh.
Today’s not the day. But one day – I’ll just go.
And when I do … I’ll no longer be Ima Goen. I’ll be Ima Gone.